Newsletter 1, Episode 3, No Man Gets Lost on a Straight Road: Yakima, Washington

America, I’m Eating Your Pantry!
Continued from Episode 2

After heading back to Yakima from the Walla Walla potluck, we visited Zillah, Washington in the morning for a brief Pantry lecture at Mateo’s parent’s house. After teaching the Solomons some basic Pantry methods, I sold them some merchandise before we set up for the final meal in Yakima.



Mateo, still anxious to clear out his substantial back-stock of oats came up with the idea of an Indian style dish he named “Oatmeal Masala.” So we set the palette…



We chose to discard the inner rusted can of C-H-B Tomatoes.



But we added a healthy amount of oats to the Crock-Pot cooking garbanzo beans.



The rest of the ingredients were combined…



The banana-chili chutney was blended…



And dinner was served



Mateo also came up with a drink, that for the lack of a name, I would call “Muddy Chai.”



It could have ended this way, in storybook fashion for my maiden voyage into the heart of Pantryland, America; but it didn’t. I wouldn’t call it temptation, but perhaps the joy of –victory- that led us to a sinful little joint that whips up the largest ice cream cones in the country (the third curved line I saw in Yakima). It was there of all places that we celebrated our culinary Pantry accomplishments.



Love from the Palm Springs of Washington, home of the straightest roads on earth, and the longest ice cream cones to fill them up with.

Matt Sugars

This week's Pantry special, a piece of Pantry history.

Stay tuned to Pantry on Tuesday, December 6th when the 'America, I'm Eating Your Pantry' Tour visits McMinnville, Oregon! Have a Pantry Thanksgiving!

Newsletter 1, Episode 2, No Man Gets Lost on a Straight Road: Yakima, Washington

America, I’m Eating Your Pantry!
Continued from Episode 1.

I consider Mateo to be something of a Pantry hero, to the point that I am just plain intimidated by his inherent Pantry prowess. Years ago when we both lived in Seattle working post-college shit jobs, Mateo would order (only) tap water when we went to restaurants, then would grab abandoned food off of anybody's plate (with a smile) on our way out. He knew better even way back then to waste money for no reason. Mateo was raised a farm boy, and lived off the land as a child. His trust in earth’s bounty went sour only once. While trekking through the valley’s farms, he drank some livestock run-off water and ended up contracting 3 forms of typhoid. With mounting symptoms, it went undetected by doctors for years. Physicians stateside simply don’t test for typhoid (it has been eradicated in the United States since before the first World War). Later while living in Mexico, and after a dramatic increase in skin infections, boils, and fevers, he again sought medical help. Fortunately for Mateo, typhoid must not be fully eradicated in Mexico, because the doctors there were finally able to nail down a correct diagnosis of his condition. In summary, I’ve always respected Mateo’s bravado and resourcefulness with food and water.

While on this tour, I prepped myself to work with whatever is in a host’s Pantry, but I had a guess that Mateo’s could be a bit different than most folks in Yakima- and I was right. Bulk beans, organic Sorghum, farm picked frozen cherries. No Bud Light. Mateo insisted that if he were to live off of his Pantry, he would have enough to eat for about 2 weeks. I inspected his reserves and placed my estimate between 3 to 4 months. For whatever reason, it is typical to underestimate how much food one really has. Sitting away in pantries and cupboards, life-giving food becomes invisible somehow. It is my job as a consultant to remind people of the food they already have; to make the invisible visible.

Because I was visiting for a long weekend, I brought along some of my own Pantry in case I ended up without food at some point in the trip. Some of the most wasteful food spending comes in times of desperation, and I wasn’t going to leave myself open to spend a king’s fortune at Subway. So on the first morning of my visit, while settling in I made myself a toaster oven heated split pea sandwich- prepared while Mateo was attending to some business.



Once Mateo was free, we began working on our first Pantry collaboration. We set out a palate of food items from Mateo’s Pantry, most of which had been neglected for the past several years.



We were heading into a deserty direction. We had no plans, but he was anxious to use up some of his oats and the bag of cherries that had been living rent-free in the freezer since the previous summer. Just sorting through his Pantry, we were amazed by what the muses of creation were inspiring…



A happy blend of oats, cherries, cinnamon, and whatever else from his Pantry joined the party. Check us out!




There must have been some magic in that old oatmeal they found, for when we put him in the oven, his face just lost that frown!



Proof positive that Mateo just lovvvved our new cherry-oatmeal pieman. Try to find this guy at Marie Calanders!



Energized by our first success, we decided to gear up our mounting Pantry treasures to participate in a potluck that was being held further east across the state in Walla Walla. The “America, I’m Eating Your Pantry Tour” was now kicking in with some full lovin’ steam. We rallied in the morning with two new creations. The first was called “Mediterranean Surprise,” and was a cheeto based egg scramble with salsa and peppers. The other, a bizarrely strong peppermint smoothie shown here in the deceptively innocent looking white cup- took on the effect of Jesus and Satan as naughty little mint twins dirty dancing on my tongue.



Armed with our Pantry fare, we headed out on one of Yakima's straight roads to begin the long trek on the windy mountain highways that would finally lead us to the Walla Walla potluck- hosted by their local poetry cartel.



Once we got to Walla Walla, we had lots and lots of split peas and chapattis to snack on. There was no way we were going to play the fool’s game of convenience food. Convenience, hah! Sure is convenient to get your wallet reamed for some diarrhea inducing grease slop. Instead we set up the mobile Pantry mess hall for a royal feast on the dashboard- a Pantry offering grand enough to feed the Czar and his lot. Provecho!



The rain never quite let up, and we were just too enamored with our food to share it at the potluck. But we enjoyed their food very much while saving our own Pantry prize for leftovers. Thanks Walla Walla Poetry Festival for the fantastic food! We’ll getcha back next year.



Stay tuned next week for the final Episode from Yakima, where Matt Sugars & Mateo go off the Pantry wagon and get a secret treat!

This week's Pantry special, the Manifesto Coffee Mug. Perfect for that moment of contemplation and plotting...

Newsletter 1, Episode 1, No Man Gets Lost on a Straight Road: Yakima, Washington

America, I'm Eating Your Pantry!

Welcome to America, I’m Eating Your Pantry! This is the 1st part of a 3 episode newsletter that reveals the details of the first stop on my nationwide tour. To kick off AIEYP in the spirit of the feast, I traveled to Yakima, Washington, home of the largest agricultural valley in Washington State, and one of the major breadbaskets of our country. The Yakima Valley is famous for its internationally distributed Yakima apples, and now hosts an ever-expanding array of high quality vineyards. In this agricultural backdrop, I visited Mateo Solomon, a subscriber to the original “Eat Your Pantry” newsletter. With Mateo, I conducted a one-on-one consultation about the joys and economy of Pantry. Mateo gladly allowed the camera to set focus on him and his Pantry so that those reading this newsletter could learn valuable Pantry lifetime lessons. Enjoy Mateo’s Pantry!

No man gets lost on a straight road.



And no roads I’ve seen in my travels are straighter than the roads of Yakima, Washington.



In fact, during my 3 days in this self proclaimed “Palm Springs of Eastern Washington,” I spotted only 3 curved lines in the entire city. The first was a small, lonely statue perched in a small city park (providing less turf than my own front yard) located directly across the street from the 2nd curved line I saw- the circular font of the Petco logo. I’m sure the corporate offices of the artsy Petco are NOT located anywhere within the straight lines of Yakima.



But getting back to the unashamed straightness of Yakima, if somebody were to lock their steering forward on one of these roads (in an effort to not get lost), and they kept driving for a solid 15 minutes or so- the one certain thing is that they would end up on a farm.



But oddly, there must be a mysterious force preventing the Valley’s abundant crops just down the straight roads of Yakima from entering back into the incorporated limits of this agricultural city; at least not directly anyway. The truth is that before you get out to the farms of Yakima or their food gets in to you, your steering wheel doesn’t need to turn left or right before you’ve cruised past hundreds of mini-marts, each glamorizing their abundant crop of Bud Light. With these ads, I’m reminded that the bounty of hops grown in the Yakima Valley is readily available in its hometown after all. Most people, including many in Washington State are unaware that the Yakima Valley dominates hops production with an incredible 25% of the world’s crop. Some of this hops is processed into expensive, snobby beers. But most of it, thank god, is processed into the golden light and refreshing Bud Light. I don’t know much about beer, but I figure that the good people of Yakima compared to anyone in the world should know a quality brew. They are the ones growing the stuff man!! And the people of Yakima are voting with their dollars and billboards, Bud Light! Beer of the makers!



But not to sidestep the star of this Episode; in the spring I sent out a promotional offer to travel anywhere a subscriber invited me to- and in return for their hospitality and foods stuffs, I would teach them the art of good healthy eating and big money saving - eating their Pantries! Mateo Solomon was the first to take up on this offer, so I bought a Greyhound ticket to his home of Yakima



Mateo was waiting as my bus arrived on time. (Click on the photo and find the sign promoting anti-Pantry sentiment)



Indulging in no extended greetings, we had some serious business to get into that night if we were going to be successful with his Pantry. We ran down to the local Wal Mart and picked up the most important tool of the trade, a Crock Pot! We had to hurry and set up the dried beans for the rest of the weekend.



Stay tuned next week for Episode 2, where Matt Sugars & Mateo find themselves in Walla Walla eating beans and oatmeal pie off of a car dashboard...

***New Merchandise in time for Christmas shopping*** The 2006 Eat Your Pantry! Calendar is now available.